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Seven days in seven minutes

Here's a summary of our trip to Disneyland...set to a Disney tune.  How appropriate.

Disneyland

It's been a long time since I've blogged here.  Part of it is because nothing has been happening, and part of it is because there are other demands on my time.  I post snippets of what's happening on Facebook, but haven't had time to sit down and write here.  

Last week our family took its first vacation together (as a family of six).  We spent the week in southern California at Disneyland.  For Lacey, Peyton, Reagan and me, it was our third visit, but for Baylee and Rhianna, and Lacey's parents, it was a first.

Part of the fun of the Disney trips for me is to see the reactions on the faces of my children.  On our first trip, Peyton was almost three and Reagan was a newborn.  We were so excited for Peyton to see Mickey and Minnie, expecting some grand reaction.  We did get that.  It was similar to the reaction that Lacey would have to seeing an actual mouse.  She wanted nothing to do with the characters with the "big heads" (her words).  She did like seeing the princesses and spoke at length with them.  After a few days Peyton warmed up to some of the characters (Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, and Donald).  

On our next trip, Peyton just turned six, and Reagan was about to turn four.  That time we discovered some of the shows (I don't know how we missed them the first time, but we did).  We still did the character meet and greets, but we saw just about every show they had.  Again, a new part of the Disney magic was opened up to our family.  

This year, our kids discovered some of the more exciting rides.  I don't remember riding roller coasters at seven years of age, but Reagan loves them.  I wasn't sure how Rhianna would respond, but she loved them too.  Baylee was too small for some of the more exciting rides, but she loved the Tower of Terror and Space Mountain.

We added a couple of excursions to this year's trip, including a visit to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum.  For me and Lacey, this was a highlight.  I especially liked seeing a replica of the Oval Office and an actual, retired, Air Force One.  We also visited Grace Community Church for their Sunday morning worship service.  We also added a brief visit to the American Girl Place in Los Angeles to the trip.  

The weather was perfect for our trip.  It never got above 80, and never below 60 (except maybe at night, but the cool air was great for sleeping).  We stayed at a house about three miles from the park.  That was a treat.   What was lost in term so of proximity was far exceeded in terms of the convenience of being able to make our own breakfast in the house, as well as the ability to enjoy the additional space at night while the kids were in bed.

If there was one downside it was that I selected a holiday weekend for our trip.  I had no idea that Veteran's Day was a big holiday in California.  It was like Labor Day or Memorial Day is here in the midwest.  Schools were closed, some businesses had extended weekends, and many of those people came to Disneyland.  The crowds were much larger than I expected.  Had I just done a little research ahead of time I could have avoided those crowds.  We still had a couple of days after Veteran's Day to enjoy the parks without large crowds.  Next time, we'll know.   One advantage to our timing, however, was that the parks had begun decorating for the Christmas holiday, so we were able to listen to Christmas music and see some of the decorations, without the (even larger) Christmas crowds. 

Now that we are home, and I need another few days to recover from the trip.  Fortunately, I have a full week to catch up at work, then a short week before the Thanksgiving holiday.  That break will be very welcome for me.

Sisters with hats

Out with the old....

and in with the new...

We can't wait for the inspection to be completed so we can start enjoying our new deck and patio.  

Independence Day

Yesterday we celebrated the anniversary of our nation's "birth" in a very traditional way...food and fireworks.  It was the first time for Baylee and Rhianna to see fireworks.  As I told Pastor Bixby (who was kind enough to host us for a barbecue), fireworks combines two of my least favorite things...crowds and noise.  But I also knew the girls would enjoy it.  

Because of the condition of the Rock River, I suspected that Rockford's annual fireworks display would be even more crowded than usual (normally a number of people would observe the fireworks from their boats on the river, but recent flooding has caused the river to be shut down to boat traffic for safety reasons).  Rather than try to find parking and a place to sit downtown, I suggested we find an alternative venue for the fireworks.  Somehow we decided to watch the fireworks at Rockford Speedway.  This is our third year in Rockford and we hadn't visited the speedway yet (trivia for those of you that aren't familiar with Rockford...Danica Patrick got her star by racing at the Rockford Speedway).  

There's a little irony that I would suggest the speedway given my aversion to noise.  I'm glad that we went.  There were a number of races, including a junior circuit (kids as young as 11), and, my favorite, a race where spectators were allowed to enter their cars and race a single lap around the track with other spectators.  For some reason it was very exciting seeing people risk their Corvettes and other classic cars to win a meaningless race.  I think there was this schadenfreude streak in me that wanted to see one of the cars hit the wall (but not actually hurt the driver...other than in his pride and his pocketbook).

After the race we made our way to the car to so that we could watch the fireworks AND still beat the crowd.  I'm sure there were a number ground fireworks that we missed, but we did catch a lot still.  I tried to take some pictures, but I wasn't sure what setting to use, so they didn't turn out as well as I would have liked.

My tribute to my father

Last week I had the privilege of paying my final respects to my father in the form of a eulogy at his funeral service. I was able to do the same for my mom six years earlier. I know many people who commented about how difficult it must have been to speak at the funeral for both of your parents, but I can honestly say, by the grace of God, it was a blessing and an honor, not a burden. I'm sharing my remarks here so you can get to know a little bit about my dad, a humble servant who God used to make a huge impact on many lives. At the end is a video that we put together and played at the funeral service.

Reflections on the Life of a Humble Servant
Scripture teaches us that "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting" (Ecclesiastes 7:2). That seems like an odd statement. In fact, it is counterintuitive. Quite honestly, if someone were to say "I really love funerals", you'd probably think they were a little off. In fact, most of us would choose a good meal over a good funeral any day. Come to think of it, we'd probably choose a bad meal over a good funeral. That's just the way we are.

But that doesn't change the fact that God's word says, for whatever reason, that this is better. It may not be more pleasant, and with our own finite reasoning, it may not seem preferable, but God says "This is better." I want to come back to this as I spend the next few minutes reflecting on Dad.

Before I start talking about Dad, let me say a few words on behalf of Mike, Tim and me to you. We have a deep appreciation for so many of you who extended kindness to Dad during his last days. It's easy to interact with people that can provide something in return, whether it's a smile, or laughing at a joke, or even responding to a simple question about the events of the day. But it's much more difficult to spend time with someone who doesn't seem to be aware of even your presence. That difficulty is compounded by the normal, compassionate empathy that we feel while watching a person literally travel through the valley of the shadow of death. But there are so many of you who were faithful to spend time with Dad at the darkest hour, and we as a family truly appreciate it. I hate to name names for fear of missing someone, but I do want to extend a special thanks to Dick and Rosemary, Jean and Chum, and my Aunt Sue and Uncle Don for their faithful efforts to minister to Dad. While I know that you did this out of love for Dad, you were also doing the Lord's work. James actually refers to that type of ministry as "pure and undefiled religion" in the sight of God. Jesus himself said that inasmuch as you have ministered to the "least of these", you have done it unto him. Those principles apply to those that are most weak and vulnerable among us, and that certainly applied to Dad in his last days. So we thank you for your ministry to Dad, and, consequently, your ministry to God in doing that. Don, let me just say how much I appreciate your taking Dad in to have him work with you. I've heard you two work together, and quite frankly, I don't know how he put up with you, and vice versa, but somehow that chemistry worked well. After Mom died, he seemed to have so few things to look forward to. And I know how much he enjoyed spending the time doing those things, and I know that at the end his "help" might have even slowed you down, but you were a true friend to Dad, so we all want to thank you.

There are aspects of Dad that each of us here remember. One thing that some of you might know, but not everyone got to see, was how he related to his grandchildren. Much to the chagrin of my mom, somehow Dad was able to capture the affection of his grandchildren in a way that she never could. Oh, they loved their grandma, but they loved their papa. It was almost as though he could read their minds and know exactly what they wanted to do, and, even more remarkable, was willing to get on the floor or ground and do exactly what they wanted for as long as they wanted to do it. Now maybe you don't see that as being too incredible, but let me tell you...I love my children. Nothing on this earth has given me more joy than they have. But I have to be honest...I have an attention span of about ten minutes when it comes to playing with Barbies or American Girl or having a tea, and even then, I'm faking it for the last five minutes. But Dad could do that for hours. And he wasn't ever faking it. Tim, I know Kari has quite a clientele now at Glitz, but I remember that Dad started her training many years ago as she played beauty salon with him. He was her first "client".

I remember being in high school when Shane and Kari were young and Dad would play little games with them and recite the most lame poems, like:

Fee fi fo fum, I smell pork chops, yum, yum, yum

Even now, I think it sounds silly, but somehow the kids loved it.

When he got what I refer to as his "second round" of grandchildren from Mike and me (he got four granddaughters in four years), he hadn't lost any of the energy. In fact, he built a playhouse in his backyard for them. Mike and I have long since forgiven him for applying his building skills to a playhouse for our girls while never building a fort for us in the backyard when we were younger. Perhaps he was worried that I would burn it down with one of my mischievous pranks.

One anecdote that I recall that really illustrates how he felt about his grandchildren goes all the way back to when Peyton, my oldest daughter, was born. She was his first grandchild in 18 years, and he was crazy about her. Many of you know and remember dad with a full red beard. Well, one day Mom noted that his beard was irritating the baby's skin. The next time I saw him, he was clean shaven, and I never saw Dad with facial hair again.

Mike and I had the privilege of having him as our father during our most formative years. While the "legal" designation of the relationship may have been "step father", the only way that the term "step" would ever apply to our relationship is that he stepped in and stepped up to the full responsibility of raising us. We weren't merely the two obligations that he had to assume in order to be married to my mom. When he became her husband he became our father, in every sense of the word. And not just for us only. Sam and Tim, while they were older and out of the house, were never thought of by Dad as "My wife's boys". They were his. I don't know of anything that illustrates that more vividly than they way Dad helped Mom care for Sam during his last few months and even years. Even when at times the burden of caring for Sam was pushing Mom near the edge, Dad was always there, patiently and humbly serving and caring for him, and what's more amazing, never once complaining.

But for those of us that know Dad, that's not surprising. I don't know anybody who had more of a servant's heart than Dad. Those of you who attended church with him before he began to get ill know that. Think of how you envision him at church. Do any of you have an image of him sitting down in a pew? I sure don't. I can't recall ever seeing Dad walk into a church and just sit down. So many have commented that they can't even recognize Dad. Some of you may think it's because of the weight loss, but just maybe it's because he isn't holding a stack of bulletins or an offering plate that makes him look so unfamiliar.

Of course, part of Dad's tireless efforts at the church were in part a reflection of his love for his church and its people. I know that after Mom's death, the church became even more important to him. In many ways it was his extended family. And just as he loved doing things for his family, he relished the opportunity to do things for his church. He actually looked forward to areas where he could spend hours on end at the church working on special projects such as building sets for some of the special programs that they held. By the same token, I know that people from the church loved him and held him in high regard. Toward the end of his life, when he was still able to communicate he would tell us about his visits from the pastor and others. He was never good with names to begin with, so I never knew exactly who it was that visited, but he did mention "that hillbilly singer". I'm guessing that he was referring to Rob there.

Even outside of the church I could see his servant's heart. I don't know how many times he would spend hours and even days at someone's house helping with various projects. He wasn't a master craftsman by any stretch of the imagination, but he learned to do many things. It was upon moving to Illinois and not having access to his modest but useful skills that I learned how valuable they really were. (Who would have guessed that it would cost $100 to replace a wax ring on a toilet? Who knew that a toilet had a wax ring? As my mom would say, twenty years of education and yet so much to learn.) But many of you here today have personally benefited from his willingness to give of himself and not want anything in return.

At the root of that servant's heart is an underlying attitude of humility. I remember one Sunday School teacher of mine say of humility "The thing about humility is once you think you have it, you've lost it." Well I don't think Dad ever thought of himself as being "humble". But he did demonstrate it in so many things. He was always deferring to others, whether it was in holding open a door or allowing others to go in front of him in a line. Perhaps the most clear example of this was at church. For as long as I can remember Dad would park in a spot far away from the door, even if he was one of the first ones at the church. When I'd ask why he'd say he wanted to leave the good spots for other people. In every way possible, Dad epitomized Philippians 2:3, which says that we should "esteem others as better than ourselves" (Phil 2:3).

Now that's an interesting verse. When Paul gave this instruction, he wasn't saying "pretend like other are better than you". It wasn't a condescension that Paul was looking for...it was a conclusion that others are truly more important than you. I honestly believe that's the way Dad looked at things. He really believed that others were more important than him.

Now, let me just pause here and touch on something very important. I loved my dad. And I suspect that most people here took the time to come because they had some sort of love or appreciation for him as well. And it's very common and good and perhaps even therapeutic to reminisce about the good qualities of a loved one when they're gone. However, if you use this occasion to reflect on the goodness of Dad, and somehow fail to consider the greatness of his God, you will have missed the entire point.

You see, what we all admire about Dad is not what he was, but what God made him. The fact is, he shared with all of us a condition that put him in direct conflict with God. In the book of Titus, Paul describes the condition this way:

3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, (Titus 3:3-7 ESV)

The apostle Paul here is reminding believers of their past in instructing them as to how to conduct themselves among those who don't believe. The point to them (and now to us) was it is only by God's grace that you are what you are. And the same is true of Dad. He was no different than those who were "foolish, disobedient, led astray and guided by his own desires". But it was in and from that condition that God saved him. And the passage is very clear that it wasn't because of anything that Dad did, but because of God's mercy.

You see, that's what God does. He saves men. And He does it in a miraculous way. He takes men who were enemies of God and reconciles them to God. He takes men who were spiritually dead and makes them alive. He takes men who were are consumed with self and makes them esteem others better than themselves. He takes men who serve their own desires and causes them to serve others. He takes men who might rather stay at home and relax after a long day of work and causes them to spend hours helping someone replace the wax ring on their toilet. He causes someone who is the first to arrive at the church in an empty parking lot to park in the furthest spot from the building. He causes men who might want to sleep in a little longer on the weekend get up early so that he can be at church early to fold bulletins, set out offering plates and pass out cards to visitors. If you want a sign that God has done something in a person's life, look for a change like that.

That leads me to ask an obvious question. "Why does God do that?" Why would a holy God receive sinful men, who were His enemies, and reconcile with them? Well the answer is found in another passage that describes the same transaction. Paul when writing to the church at Ephesus, reminds them of their former condition (he refers to it as being "dead") and how they escaped from it.

4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4-7 NIV)

God didn't have to save sinners. But he chose to do that so that he could, in eternity ("the coming ages"), show the incomparable riches of his grace. J. Vernon McGee puts it this way:

Someday I am going to be on exhibit. Angels will go by and say, "See that fellow McGee. He was lost and wasn't worth saving, but he's here in heaven today. It is only through the grace and kindness of God that he was saved and brought here." That is going to be for the praise of God throughout eternity. I am not going to get any credit at all, but I'm going to be there, and that's good enough for me. I'm going to join that angelic host in singing praises to God because He saved me.

So while I take comfort in thinking about all of the good qualities of Dad, and I'm encouraged by the outpouring of love from those who knew him, what really encourages me, and gives me hope, is knowing that, like Dr. McGee, that Dad is now part of a heavenly exhibit that displays the incomparable riches of God's grace. And by the grace of God, that I will join him some day in that exhibit.

Dad was certainly a man of few words. He was by no means an eloquent speaker. But I believe If Dad could speak today he would say more loudly, and more clearly, and more articulately than he ever spoke before "It's all about God".

I would hope that you, when thinking about Dad's good qualities, don't make the mistake of just stopping there and end up missing the bigger picture. Again, what we admired and appreciated about Dad was what God made him to be. Dad would be the first to say that there is nothing for him to boast about. He could no more take credit for what God did through him than a shadow could take credit for its size or a raft in the rapids could take credit for its speed. Paul, who was used mightily by God, referred to it this way:

6 For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:6-7

Paul here is saying that this treasure (he's referring to the ministry of the gospel of Christ) was being put in "jars of clay". The contrasting imagery here is staggering. A "jar of clay" was a term for a pot that was used for common things. You might put your trash in it. You might put food that decomposes and collects flies in it. Back then, you might have even put human waste in it. But you'd never put a treasure in it. It would be unheard of. But Paul here says that the treasure of the privilege of being a minister of the gospel of Christ has been entrusted into these common chamber pots. That's us. And the reason is "to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us". Dad realized that when he was here on earth, and realizes it even more now. All of the credit for anything that he ever accomplished in his life was because of the surpassing power of God.

Now let's go back to the passage I referred to at the beginning. "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting" (Ecclesiastes 7:2) Why is this better? I think the answer is found in the conclusion of the verse..."for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart." At a feast, men don't usually take the time to reflect on their own mortality, but at an occasion like this, it's inescapable. This is, in a very real sense, the end of all men. For Dad, that appointment was set in eternity past by God for May 26, 2008. And for each of you here, that appointment has been set by God, and it's unavoidable, inescapable, and certain. The Bible says it is appointed unto man once to die and after that the judgment.

I don't know. For some of you here, perhaps even for me, God may have in eternity past decreed that the year 2008 will be etched on your own tombstone. And it just may be that God, in his providence, brought you here to reflect on that very possibility.

This time of year there are thousands of young men and women finishing up their course of study at high schools, colleges, universities, trade schools and professional schools. And while in one sense they are finishing something, the ceremony that is used to recognize that is called a commencement. Did you ever think about that? The word used to describe the ceremony that is designed to recognize and celebrate the completion of one work actually means "the beginning". For Dad, May 26 was his commencement. And because of Christ, he can say, like Paul,

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8